The Bard of Biscuit City: 1:4

ACT I: SCENE IV

The story continues…

ACT I: SCENE IV

Queen Clean, Sad Prince and Paula

The Princess of Procrastination

Were doing cartwheels in the street

Having found sweet jubilation!

They’d searched good Biscuit City

For the finest fare of all

And at last success

Was savored best

At Le Cafe Montreal

From doggy treats to fresh eclair

It was all anyone could want

But the piece de resistance was

The famed “Butter Bomb Croissant”

So Clean cleaned out their stock tout de suite

And hired the baker on the spot

To do all the royal baking

From that moment forth and not

One moment sooner could it have been

For down at Biscuit Bay

The French had landed on the beach

Mannequins all set to play

With the Knights of Utter Nonsense

But not on “Maximum Rebuke”

They’d been switched to clever “Femme Fatale”

With cleavage fit for Marmaduke

The Knights of Utter Nonsense

Would be putty in their mittens

For Sir Lingo’s three Swords of Steel

Had never seen such sexy kittens

When the landing ramp was lowered

And the runway models strut ashore

The Knights’ tongues were switched to silent

No they wagged not one bit more

Bafflegab was baffled

Two Shoes was a fog

And Rantsalot was panting

Memory begging to be jogged

For the right words he should say now

About frying up the French

And all that he could muster was

“Damn… I wish…

I had a Paris catwalk wench!

To make my blood rise every night!

To take me to the moon!

I wonder if I could interest one

In a lovely macaroon?

Down at that Café Montreal

I know they’ve got some dandies there

And I know they’ve got those “crawsongs”

And dainty chocolate eclair!”

Yes, Rantsalot spilled his guts

As he was often wont to do

And when the Mannequins said

“Oui Monsieur!

When shall we rendezvous?”

Bafflegab went batty

Two Shoes checked his feet

Rantsalot’s face turned bright

As a crimson sugar beet!

Sir Lingo’d not seen this before

Thus it caused him consternation

For suddenly he ciphered

A new threat to their station

As protectors of the King of Worry

And the Queen of Crazy Clean

This was a wrinkle unexpected

Dynamics unforeseen

The planets now were dancing

Love was in the air

God help us all, thought Lingo

With this Cosmic Love Affair!